So everyone in blogland has been chosing words to be theirs for the New Year. When I first heard about it I had no idea what word I would pick and just disregarded the idea. Then last Tuesday I was alone in the car for about a 45 min. ride. I decided to take advantage of this rare blissfully quiet ride and truelly enjoy the quiet--no radio and no cell phone. This was a time I planned for reflection and worship so I set my cruise control for 70mph and off I went. I started by thanking God for the obvious things-- family, home, friends, food, car, work-- you know the normal. I was feeling all content and proud of the fact that I had choosen to spend my time this way. Then it happened someone pulled up right behind me, he was almost touching my bumper. I speed up and moved to the right hand lane. This allowed the man to speed past me. I was mad. Not a little upset, but MAD. How dare he put my life and the lives in the other cars in danger, how dare he think he was more important than others, how dare he break the law like that. HOW DARE HE.....
As time went by by I got angrier he had interupted my quiet time with God. Then slowly God started speaking -- He could have some where he has to be, his kid could be sick ( it was only a few weeks ago that you were in a racing car with a sick kid going to the hospital)
Oh, God you are right, I shouldn't be angry at him. Please forgive me for my anger. I decided to get back to my "holy" quiet time. Thank you for this , thank you for that.
Charity ( my real name )
You judged him pretty harshly.
Oh, God you are right. At this moment Romans 2:1 is flooding into my mind.
" You therefore have no excuse, you who pass judgement on someone else, for at whatever point you judge the other you are condemning yourself, because you who pass judgemant do the same things."
Oh, I am so sorry God, you are right. I judged him in a way that I don't want to be judged.
Back to my quiet time much more humble. God how often I judge others in ways that I don't want them or you to judge me. I yell at my husband when he does something I don't like, but want immediate forgiveness from him when the tables are turned. How often do I lose my temper with my kids when they still are doing something wrong that we have been working on for a long time. I don't want that kind of anger taken out on me when I am still failing at the things that you are working with me on.
God, I am a mess. I am sorry. I don't know how to be any better than I am, I try hard. I read my Bible and pray every day, I go to church, I teach sunday school, I only listen to Christian music, and read Christian books.
Yes Charity, you do all of those things and they are not bad things, but you do it all in your power. SUBMIT to me, let me live through you, I can do all those things and so much more.
Okay god, I'll submit, but submit what?
SUBMIT it all, I will show you one step at a time. Watch and listen for me to show you, anticiapate.
At this point I am getting close to my exit and look down to turn off my cruise control and realize it was set for 70 mph and the speed limit is 65 mph.
This whole time I was not submitting to the speed limit, because in my mind everyone goes 5 miles over the limit and a cop would never waste his time to pull me over for that. Where is my heart, I thought I was above the law. Oh God, what are you going to do with me. I give in I SUBMIT, starting with authority.
I don't know where this next year will take me, but I am certain that I have growth to do under God's authority. I praise you God for the things you revealed to me in this car ride and for the things to come.
I am your humble, blessed servant. I choose to serve you.